Westchester Guide to Parenting
by the queen of slurking
Summary: If Westchester parents had a guide for how to raise their children, how might it read?
1. Chapter 1

Westchester Guide to Parenting

Prologue

Congratulations on your purchase of this book of guidelines for parents in Westchester!

If you fall into one of the following economic categories: 1) wealthy, 2) poor or 3) poor and relying on an old friend's financial generosity, and are going to be raising a daughter in Westchester over the years to come, this guide will help you massively.

The guidelines described in this book will help you navigate the tricky years of your little princess's life, from her first steps to her first credit card and everything in between. Being a parent can be terrifying, so we have created guidelines specifically for Westchester to help you and your daughter get along relatively smoothly.

The guidelines are completely idiot-proof, with clear instructions on how you should or should not go about raising your daughter. Feedback and questions are welcomed, as we cannot guarantee complete clarity. (This can be due to varying interpretations of an idea or value; differing levels of intelligence and differences in how a parent believes their child should be brought up).

Finally, should you at any time be dissatisfied with some content in this book, we encourage you to consider how you are raising your child. The answer to your problem with the book may be found in what you are currently doing.

Happy parenting!


	2. Chapter 2

**If the parents of Westchester had a guide to parenting, how would it read? Parody/humour. No offence intended. Reviews and suggestions welcome.**

**A/N: I don't own anything, Lisi Harrison does.**

Westchester Guide to Parenting

Chapter 1

Allow your daughter to spend thousands on clothes every month. Don't try to restrict her spending, or put her on any kind of budget. Ignore the fact that her excessive spending might cause your family to go broke, or at least contribute to it. $200 or upwards is a genuinely reasonable amount to pay for some piece of clothing: she's not even paying that much for the item of clothing, but the label inside. But she _has _to pay that much, and you let her, because otherwise she'll be a miserable loser. Keep in mind, not all parents think like this and some would be furious at the bills she runs up.

When your family does "go broke", pay no attention to the fact that her friends are collecting and selling their old clothes to raise money. She'll want to spend that money on new clothes, because god forbid she borrow something from her friends instead. (_So_ not what an alpha does) If you happen to notice the thick stash of money in her wallet from said clothes sale, pretend it's perfectly natural. Your family is scrimping and saving, but this money has apparently appeared by magic and it's _there_. She's bending over backwards to keep her alpha status and doing her best to set the trends according to her own life. She's "poor"? Then she has to make that a trend somehow. Of course, as with all trends, this one fades out ridiculously quickly.

Besides, your family will be rich again in about three days when you magically get a new job (the technicality of getting a _pay check_ before you're rich is just that, a technicality. Just ignore it, it'll go away eventually) and then your first purchases can be black diamond jewellery for her. Because every thirteen-year-old needs black diamonds. The fact that they are a status symbol to her-I'm rich enough for such jewellery!-should be disregarded the way she disregards last season's clothes. NB: your second purchase will be a castle of all things, ignoring the fact that there are three people in your family. Even factoring in your staff who may or may not choose to live on-site, you really don't need a castle.

Never hound her about the clothes she buys but then doesn't wear. She has an enormous wardrobe, and what's a few hundred dollars wasted on something she has yet to wear? That's normal for her. In reality, she's a spoilt brat. Only, that doesn't work with the reality in which she is your little princess, and therefore welcome to her own credit cards and all the clothes and accessories her little heart desires.

Don't stress about bills: when your bills come in, just pay them and toss them aside. She doesn't need to learn about the value of money, as she has a credit card. As long as she knows that she can afford to buy whatever she wants, whenever she wants, it's fine. That's all she'll ever need to know, and although you're not thinking too far into the future for her, don't worry about the fact that one day she'll go into the adult world thinking that she's only ever going to need a credit card to get by. Teaching your daughter the value of money and saving is only ever going to be needed if you're middle-working class, or if you're upper-class and you're sensible enough to recognize that these economic basics are necessary.

In summary, don't give her a hard time about the money she spends or the fact that she's becoming an increasingly spoilt brat. Don't have money problems, but if you can't avoid them, become rich again as quickly as possible and then go purchasing ridiculous, extravagant items.


End file.
